27weeks 6 days

Today I am almost 28 weeks and with a belly measurement of 46 inches,
I am now in need of maternity scrub pants.
Not to mention slip on shoes for work.

me today in the same scrubs (around 12 or 13 weeks) as these:

This week her constant movements are becoming forceful.
Gone are the weeks of light and flighty movements.
I truly believe she is going to be either a boxer or one kick ass soccer star.

Jammin'

Every morning JC and I start our journey off right, with tunes. Before the child has even fastened his seat belt, he is shouting out requests. You see, I'm not only the breakfast, lunch maker, hair brush er, shoe-tier in the morning, I am also his personal D.J.

Because in the morning, we be jammin'.

I love that he loves music. I love that he can tell me what instrument is cranking out a bitchin' solo. I love that he can hear just one short sample of a song and tell me what it is. Unlike his mommy, the kid has great ears.

He would tell you that Metallica has the best drummer, the Beastie boys have the most bass and that Cake's song "the distance" gets him pumped up for summer camp. Without a doubt he would tell you that he hates it when I sing Paul Potts. (I don't blame him...)

So far this week Johnny Cash's "a boy named Sue" has been his favorite and if he had a chance to quote it or even sing it for you, he would. The song cracks my boy up.

This morning as he belted out Jimmy Buffet's "volcano", I saw a glimpse of a child that was truly enjoying life. With his head bopping, singing from the bottom of his sweet heart he looked up at me and my heart was jammin'. It's these little mommy moments that I adore and treasure.

Since we can't just call her baby...

It's a bit crazy these days in the Crooked Eyebrow household so to get my mind off of things I'm asking for name suggestions.

Does this mean I'll use them? Can't say for sure, but picking out the perfect name for our baby girl could always use some suggestions, right?


So go ahead, throw out some names.

26 weeks

and another shot...

Some how week #25 was really busy and I didn't manage to take a photo. Dang. The one noticeable change has been watching her move my belly. As I sit at night, she of course becomes active. For what seems like hours I watch my belly shift from right to left and it just makes me so curious to what she looks like in there. My dreams are filled with holding her and knowing that one day our family will feel like she has always been there. I can't wait.

Also at while at work I am showing more in my larger scrubs which prompts everyone to ask "How much longer?". When I tell them not until the first week of October the only response they can give me is "oh I'm so sorry, you are going to be big in all the hot months!".

thanks people... I know.

As far as touching? The more the merrier. Pat it all you want, make a wish if you'd like... I waited so long to feel this all over again that I am more than happy to have my beautiful belly touched. I'm proud of it(her).

Now if only this pregnancy would slow down, I'm enjoying it too much for now.

slight panic

Pulling into babies'r'us yesterday shocked me just a little bit. That was one store I thought I was done with. (not to mention they are way overpriced and always out of stock). It's been almost 9 years since I had to register for JC and things have changed.

Walking by the car seats and the strollers I became very nauseous because I could not believe how expensive things have gotten in 9 years. What I paid for a stroller and car seat travel system then, now only covers the cost of a low end car seat. Shit...this is going to be expensive....

That in itself brings me to another worry...what kind of car seat do I get? For $100 I can get this hunk of plastic with an obnoxious print and no padding for my little girl, but will it protect her? Does buying a $300 car seat and better cushion really protect her more in a crash? Seriously folks, not only am starting to panic about having to re-buy so many items, but picking the "right" ones is making it harder.

As I walked down the isles my chest started to get tight just trying to add up how much this is all going to cost....

a new swing $120
highchair $120
car seat/stroller $290
bedding $150+
crib mattress $50+

oh my gosh, that's not even adding in clothes, diapers, wipes.

Shit.

Time to hit the resale shops I'm thinking.

With rushing thoughts my panic is starting to set in.... her room in no where near cleared out, there are no ideas what to put in there for her, I'm going to be a mom again!, breast feeding, how do I pick out good products to buy?, diapers, having to get everything all over again, diapers, maternity leave, day care, $200 car seats!, and I am having a girl....oh my.


normally I would have added that I needed a drink, but lemonade will have to do.

Turning around

Today started off just like any other morning. I put one foot in front of the other and I kept on moving forward. I do this everyday, usually never looking back but for some reason, I turned around.

I mentioned in my last post how I was growing more anxious and aware of my estranged relationship with my father and it began to weigh heavily on me in the past few weeks. After all, it has been just about 6 years since I have last seen him. All ties were cut, no lines of communication. There have been hints dropped to me in the past few years by others that his health was not the best for such a young man, but I never listened. My angry self just blew it off and kept on with my life, moving forward without him.

Since JC has started a summer program in my Dad's hometown, I have found myself driving by his house daily. Each day as I passed I would glance over to see if he was out and each day he wasn't.

Until today.

I drove past this morning and caught a glimpse of an aged red headed man that I used to adore and call Dad. A man that I never though would let me down, but did. The same man that threw such hateful, angry words at me the last time we spoke. The man that I had been hoping to catch a glimpse of for weeks, but was unable to. There he was.

So I kept on driving to work until I got a 1/2 mile down the road and I had this overwhelming feeling to turn around. A feeling that is so unusual for me to have. I wanted to keep pushing on and driving forward, but I couldn't. I turned around. Something made me turn around.

When I pulled up in the drive way, he didn't know who sat behind the wheel. When I got out, his tears were pouring down his face. The pure joy that overcame that once angry face that I had last looked at was something that I never thought I would see.

The only thing I said as I walked up was "I saw you sitting on the porch, so I thought I would stop to say hi."

I have never been hugged so tightly in my life. I can still smell him (and his smokes) on me. All he kept saying was "I have been praying for this day." Then with each exclamation of such, he would just look at me and then hug me more.

Then he looked at me and my belly. The words "it is a girl" made him cry harder as he held and kissed my belly.

Not once did I cry, not once was I able to call him Dad, but there is something about watching a grown man, let alone your father, cry. My only response was to tell him that it was "OK "and my only hope is that he now has the peace I know he was looking for.

For that moment, turning around today gave me a bit of peace too.

Random once again.

*All week the only song that has replayed itself over and over in my head has been..."here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a memory..." by the the Eurythmics. I'm not quite sure if it's because of the actual rain or just my mood this week.

*My waddle that was previously mentioned is now gone, as is the lower back pain. Which was nicely replaced with awful neck and head pain. Just in case you were wondering, ya know.

*I have an estranged father who I have not been able to stop thinking about lately. It's been almost 4 1/2 years since I have spoken to him. The possibility of forgiving him has been weighing heavily on my heart. Parts of me feel that if I just tell him how he has let me down as a father for so many years and the forgive him for the last episode we had, that I may carry less weight on my heart about it in the future. (and I know it would help his...) But I'm not sure if I am strong enough to face him just yet.

*must think happy thoughts...must think happy thoughts...

*For 2 weeks now I have had practice photo shoots to do and the weather has not cooperated. I get so nervous ahead of time to do them and then we have to reschedule. Like tonight, I have engagement photos to take and it's nothing but thunderstorms in the forecast. Which sucks because they still want to take them inside some where (booo I like natural light) and I also won't be able to do 3/4 of the shots I have planned. At least in this sitting, but I like and welcome the practice.

* Our baby girl still doesn't have a name yet. Nor any ideas for her room. I just know that I don't want her room to be pink. Pink clothes are okay, but not wall color. Names? Clueless.

*Also in this past week I have been upset with myself with gaining too much too fast. Which in turn pushes me to something sweet to deal with it rather than walking on the treadmill.

*I am a sucker for any good guitar or piano solos in music. Love them. Love.

*This week while driving JC to his new summer day camp we have heard the Black Eyed Peas every morning. He now says "you are so 2000 and late" non -stop. But he is so damn cute to watch in the rear view mirror when he is singing and booster-seat dancing.

*Since I have mentioned shaving in just about every random post, I'll keep it going....
I haven't shaved my legs in over 2 weeks and to my surprise, the hair isn't bad. I do not advise brushing up against me though.

*Have I ever expressed how much I dislike packing lunches? I do. It should be this great mommy thing to do, but I hate it. The best part is putting love notes in for JC and surprising him with special treats, but the task of doing it each day stinks.

* I was addicted to Swedish fish last week but had to give them up. I miss them and all their yummy sugar goodness. The thoughts of flunking my glucose test next week won that mental battle of parting with them.


* Speaking of shaving again. It was discussed with the girls that getting a Brazilian is well worth the pain. Even more so before you deliver. So...there you go.


*With about 15 weeks left of this pregnancy I am starting to worry about breast feeding. The books are a little overwhelming and I know how hard it was to get JC to do it. I failed with him and worry that I won't be able to do it with her. From the beginning, that has been my #1 goal. No formula. We'll see how it goes.

* There is nothing fun planned for the Crooked Eyebrow family for this summer, so I'll live through other people. What do you have planned? Picnics, camping, travel??