Life happens, so dance...

Life happens...

There is a beginning and an end, but it is what happens in between those two events that matter the most. It has been those in between moments that we have been clinging onto this week as my entire family has been watching my aunt move on to the end of her life.

Life...it happens.

Simply put, my Aunt Chris is a fighter. She always has been and even at the end of her life she is continuing her fight. As she lays in her hospice bed she still has beat all odds this week and continues to cling on to the life.

When I look at her, when I stroke her hand, all I can think of is where she is right now. Because in my heart my Aunt Chris is not laying in a bed watching her body fail her. With every ounce of my heart I truly believe that she is on some spiritual journey before she finally leaves this earth. When I look at her she looks as if she has a purpose. Her eyes squint, her mouth twitches and I know she is off doing something amazing. It is my belief that she is reliving her amazing life. All week long we have waited for her to take her last breath and I can only think that she has had such an amazing life to relive and that's what is taking her so long to let go.

Aunt Chris is a hard working single grandmother who did not, would not take life all in while sitting down. She is a mover, a shaker.... As I grew up I watched her work jobs that some men wouldn't have the strength to do. I watched her dance. I watched her laugh and most of all, I watched her love.

Sitting in her room this week I would watch her long, lean legs kick and move and I was left thinking that while she was reliving the best moments in her life she must have been dancing. As the week passed she has had increased restlessness and her legs just keep on moving. It's funny because other family members worry about it and all I can do is enjoy watching her continue to dance. Aunt Chris, no matter what, never needed a party to dance and I will remember her just that way. Even in the end, she continues to dance.

Life happens...so dance.

Weigh in #1

It's my first weigh in for the Shrink-a-versary at shrinking jeans and I am already late! Sheesh. It has been quite a long week here at the crooked house and honestly did not get to exercise at all. There were HUGE plans to do so, but life happens and it simply did not get done.

Eating? Well that didn't go well either. You see there is Halloween candy everywhere and my diet was made up of nothing but fail. FAIL. When I was able to eat in between nursing and doing house work I was mostly eating fun size candy bars that are not so fun to work off my thighs.

SO...with that said, I did go down, but not with any honest hard fought efforts....

Last week was 212#
this week 209.5#

-2.5 #

Here is to hoping that my newborn gets on some kind of schedule so I can try to put forth an effort and exercise from now on.

scary yet sweet

Sometimes parenting can be scary ...

but some how

it always ends up being so darn sweet.

My kids (squee!)
Halloween 2009

and we sing...

I may not have the best voice, but my sweet girl doesn't mind.
When it's just us, or if she is fussy or even when she is happy and content, we sing.

At three weeks old now she makes noises along with me and she discovers her hands and the world around her. So we sing about it.

When she needs a clean diaper, we sing.

It's the moments when I have her eyes focused on me where I sing this to her...

(to the tune Oh my darlin' clementine, I just repeat the same thing over and over)

Oh my Eden, Oh my Eden, Oh my Eden baby girl
I have wanted you for ever, yes forever
baby girl...

Oh my Eden, Oh my Eden, Oh my Eden baby girl
I will love you forever, yes forever
my baby girl...




Then she looks up and me with her amazing eyes
and I am reminded just how thankful I am to get to sing to her.

Shrink-a-versary

Look! The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans is having a challenge to celebrate their first anniversary. It seems like yesterday that we all sat around at night and emailed back and forth to start the site and here it is a year later. Amazing. Just because I took a maternity break from it, didn't mean I wasn't going back!

So, It's my first challenge back after having the baby and I am happy to start. I would like to lose the last 11 pounds that I gained with her ( and the some)

First, let me tell yeah about the new challenge!
Not only is it a weight loss challenge, but it's a physical activity challenge too. The shrinking jeans peeps want you to get your shoes on and log all your miles. Let me repeat. The challenge wants you to log weight loss or gains and log your miles.

The best part?

(besides the fact that you are on a path to better health)

There are giveaways everyday! Yes folks, it's a Shrink-a-versary Extravaganza!

So go forth and sign up today!

Don't forget to follow them on twitter, they are a hoot! @shrinkingjeans


***my numbers***
A history of my weight:

Last year I weighed about 218#
I started shrinking jeans last November at 213#
I got down to 198#
Went to 200# and was pregnant

Delivery date I was 234#
2 weeks postpartum I was 211.5#
Today I am .... 212#

My goal is to get down to 200# by the end of the challenge. Can it be done? We will see!

Sakura Bloom Triathalon's first challenge( and the longest post ever)

So as most of you may know, I was chosen to be one of seven moms to take part in Sakura Bloom's Triathalon hosted by Adventures in Babywearing. Part of the challenge is to wear a fabulous sling of my choice, document it and then answer questions.

Am I lucky or what? I think so.


Even better? We also received a Bravado Nursing tank. You know what? Mine arrived on a day where I was so frustrated with being a new breast feeding mom who did not have a bra to wear out in public. Can I just say how much I adore my tank? I do. I love it. I need to buy more because I am in love with the ease of the tank and feeding, yet it's stylish and the control top of the tank makes me feel so comfortable. Bravado Nursing tanks...I love you.

moving on....

Eden and I had the pleasure of wearing a ring sling from the Pure Linen Collection in Plum. What I love even more about it is that it was shipped to me on the day I went into labor and it was waiting for us when we came home. The packaging alone was gorgeous, the sling? The sling is beautiful, soft and I am so sad that I have to part with it. It was our first sling as a newborn and my first sling as a babywearing mommy.

Sakura Bloom...I love you too. (smooches)



Moving on to the challenge... the first challenge is to answer 3 questions. Here are mine. The winner receives a $100 gift certificate to Fawn&Forest!


1. What first interested you in babywearing?

Eden is, quite simply, a miracle baby to us. After struggling with infertility for seven years, my pregnancy with her was unexpected and so very beautiful. I held tight to every moment she was in my belly, every sweet kick and roll, so it made sense to me that I would want to hold tight to her on the outside, as well. Furthermore, I will have to return to work when she is still a small baby, so these moments that I'm home with her become all the more precious and fleeting. Therefore, baby wearing seemed not just something I wanted to do, but something I HAD to do. When I wear her, I feel like she's still a part of me, but even better than when I was pregnant, because I'm able to kiss and smell the top of her sweet head.

Of course, being hands free is also important. I'm not just Eden's mom, but I'm a mom to an almost nine year old boy, too. As he was the only one for so long, I want to make sure that I'm still spending time playing with him, helping with homework, and being the mom that I've been to him for the past nine years. I'm finding that baby wearing has not only brought me closer to Eden, but closer to my son JC, as well, because I'm able to be with him much more than I would if I were not baby wearing.

2. How is your personality reflected in your parenting style?

As a parent, I'm not sure that there is one way to describe my parenting. While I am not entirely routine-oriented, my son has ADHD, which means that we do need to follow a routine to keep him on track. Keeping routines for his sake have proven to be the key to success in both at home and school. While I am also not completely strict, I recognize the importance of sometimes veering from a schedule in order to have fun and allow him to be a kid. This is much like my personality. While I like to have plans and know what is coming around the corner, I am also someone who enjoys spontaneous get togethers and outings. As I mentioned earlier, I did struggle with infertility, and that has certainly taught me to enjoy every single moment with my children. I know that my children are truly a gift, one that I thought I might never have, so I realize that it's important to sometimes veer from our schedule in order to enjoy a few more laughs, a few more hugs, even if it means going to bed half an hour later than usual.

3. If you could spend a year traveling with your family, where would you go and why?

To be entirely honest, my first thought was, "Anywhere, a vacation just sounds nice!" But after really thinking about it, this question became more challenging. My husband I have worked very hard as partners and as parents to make our house the most comfortable spot, the spot where all of us want to be. So leaving our perfect home for one full year seems hard to imagine.

If I had to choose, I would wish that my family could take an amazing adventure, a journey, when both Eden and JC are old enough to appreciate the education and life experience offered by travels. My family and I would love to spend an entire year visiting all the beautiful sights within our United States, as they have so much to offer. We would begin out East and travel across the country, ending up on the West Coast. We would visit all the national state parks, national landmarks, and of course, your typical tourist destinations. This wouldn't be a vacation where we'd visit only theme parks and tourist traps, though, instead, we'd search out history in places like Salem, Massachusetts, and Yellowstone National Park.

As a child (and still as an adult), I have not had the opportunity to travel as much of our great country as I would like. Although my mother worked hard and did her very best for us, she was never able to afford such travels. Therefore, I'd like to give my children this gift before they leave our home for college or to begin their own families. That said, while I want them to learn on our travels, I still want them to be children. I would also like to have small mini-vacations throughout our year of travel. What better gift than to see my children build a sand castle on a warm beach, while my husband and I snorkel. That would be divine! Whether in Hawaii, Aruba, or Australia, I would be happy traveling anywhere--just so long as it's with my family.

my favorite kind of fall day

I love fall.
I love the colors, the crisp air and the change it brings.
This fall has been full of changes. Now I can say my "children", now that is a change for sure.

So here are my children and our perfect fall day.