Friday, August 11, 2006

Friday Funny...

Purina Diet...

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for
my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The
Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of
my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pants
pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so
I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in
the line was by now enthralled with my story,
particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was
that why I was in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking
my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be
carried out the door.

*Obviously it was emailed to me...but it made me laugh...

1 comment:

Cousin Amber said...

Wow...I really thought you said taht to those people...i thought you lost your damn mind! hahaha...made me laugh on this shitty Friday!