Tuesday, May 15, 2007


For several weeks, alright months, the ever mounding stress and pressure has been building up. Like I'm glue and every little thing is sticking to me. After trying so hard to ignore it, it doesn't go away. My fears, lack of self-esteem, weight gain, re-starting a marriage, a crazy teacher, worries of being unhealthy, hating or despising my house, anger. It doesn't go away. It stews, it boils all in my pretty little head. I can pinpoint when I started feeling this way, but am reluctant to share with the internet.

I did all my chores that JC told me I didn't have to do on Mother's day and I sat and stewed some more. Why? It's how I roll. I grabbed my ipod and I went for a walk.

It was gorgeous last night! Warm, but an awesome breeze. My music blaring, pumping me up and slowly my pondering thoughts were fading away. Before I knew it I was running. Then the reality kicked it, too heavy of a frame, pounding heart and lack of air. Air is good...

So with Metallica blaring on and my ipod lighting up the bike trail, I walked on. It was lonely, dark and I spent my time looking behind me. Trying to keep moving forward. I suppose that's the key thing I forget sometimes. Don't look back and keep going, only looking forward to where you're going. Next question...where am I going?

So since I neglected my ipod or idonut (that's what's engraved on it) for some time here are the 10 random shuffle list:

1. Tuesday's Gone- Metallica (fitting)
2. Mannish Boy- Muddy waters(always think of my husband when I hear this)
3. Stiff upper lip- Ac/DC
4. Just like heaven- The Cure
5.Paranoid- Garbage(crystal method remix)
6.Whiskey in the jar- Metallica
7. I don't like the drugs- Marilyn Manson
8. America- Neil Diamond
9. i walk the line- Johnny Cash
10.Sweating Bullets- Megadeath

there you have it...yea, i have a lot of metallica and the cure on my idonut right now.

No comments: