Sunday, June 10, 2007

Meme...the four year

Sheryl from Peanut butter and jelly boats tagged me with a meme. The four year meme. This is my first blog meme ever!

Four new things I have learned or experienced in the past four years: ( I have to really think about it, the last 4 years have been a complete blur)

1. I've never elaborated, nor will I, but I have mentioned on here my husband and I were separated for quite some time. We saw each other practically every day, but we lived separately. That folks, was the hardest experience in my life to date. Those 2+ years were a jammed pack full of life lessons. I started a completely broken down young girl and brought myself back to be a woman. Honestly. The days started off in tears and ended up in tears. The evenings after JC was tucked into bed were spent obsessively cleaning so I wouldn't be able to stop and dwell on all my pain. Tylenol Pm became my friend so I could sleep.

As the months past, I stopped dwelling and put my pain and separation behind me. A friend at the time talked me into going to a personal trainer. It was the best decision I've ever made. I felt invincible. So good, I wanted to start pulling people of the street to show them my newly found abs and biceps. Seriously. Every time I did bench presses or pull downs I was releasing all of my hurt and anger. I was free. I was me. That sound so fake, but so true.

Time passed on and things were on the mend and since this past year our family is under one roof again. We never stopped being a family, we never stopped loving and I never gave up. For me, I usually did give up. This time there was more a stake, my family, I couldn't just dust of my hands and move on... Out of all the things I learned from this part of my life, Not giving up on yourself and family is the most important and I think it had to happen for a reason. Some people wouldn't agree, but I do.

2. There was a job change for me about 4 years ago. I went from working 13 hour days 6 days a week sometimes. Being on call on rotating weekends. Reports to be done on the weekends to a full time, no weekend, no holiday job.

The other job hurt my family and I regret ever doing it, but I miss "doing" and feeling like I contribute something with my job. Now? my job is boring outside of the clinics I created for myself. I Created them. ME. MINE. and without them, I would have quit my "nice" job awhile ago.

3. JC...our wonderful, brilliant, little hyperactive minded son was put on medications this past 2 years. I could have told the doctors till I was blue in the face that he had ADHD, but no pediatrician would listen to me or my husband. He was taken to a therapist and we were told that he was traumatized my a local "best in the region" daycare. Verbally and emotionally scarred and he still can remember things from when he was 2. Now he also has emotional/behavior issues as well. I wish I would have have not trusted the daycare as fully as I did. I feel like I failed my only child and I didn't protect him. That was the biggest mistake of my parenting life. If only I would have stayed home a little longer...but you can't live with the what ifs and should haves.

4. In the last year I did some home improvements, but one was liberating. A task that most men wouldn't want to do... I pulled up the carpets, hauled them out the door and with the help of my mother I redid the hard wood floors. During the time of #1, I hated my house, despised it, got sick of thinking of it. So? the office/3rd bedroom and the living room were changed completely. I loved it! I was on top of the world by completing such a large task, mostly by myself. Insert womanly grunt here... I enjoy home improvements, just wish I had more $$and time off.

Four things I want to try in the next four years.

1. Same as #4, I want to complete more home improvements, save money and buy a new home so we can be in a neighborhood where we want to be, with other young parents and children. Oh! as I listen to all the loud motorcycles, off this corner!

2. I would like to try and finish my education and go for more. I started nursing @ 20. I will have like 45+ years of nursing when I retire. Too many years to go and not have the earning capacity and the knowledge I know I could have.

3. Disney land. I want to take JC to Disney before he will be "too" old to enjoy. Only thing, husband doesn't like the idea of Disney...

4. I want to try and learn several new hobbies. Photography, golf, read more, the list goes on....

Thanks Sheryl for tagging me...
I don't know of any visitors that read my spot...
So, if anyone wants to do it, let me know if you do, and I'll come and read!

*BTW* Since I don't know of any "visitors" that I get, you should all stop and say hello. Really!
De-lurk, say hi, you'd make my day if you did!



Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats said...

Wow, that comment was totally in Spanish! First of all BRAVO for not giving up on your marriage! Some people do give up, but you stuck it out. That is awesome!

I'd like to continue my education some day too. What's the highest you can go in the nursing field? Is it nurse practitioner?

Disneyland is AWESOME! We went 3 years ago and to this day, it's been the best vacation we've ever taken.
Thanks for playing along!!

Sarah said...

I'm delurking to say hi!

My daughter (who is 8 going on 20) wants to go to Disney World. Our youngest (who is 3) is going to have to be a bit older because if we go I want them to all remember it.

Crooked Eyebrow said...

Sarah... thanks for stopping by and saying hello, you really did make my day. I'll stop by yours later!

yerdoingitwrong said...

I can't wait to take my boy to Disneyland one day, too!! =) And I agree. Marriage is hard damn work. I'm so impressed at how you took to time to evaluate and found your way back to each other. Bravo!