Monday, July 23, 2007

Clustered and fluttered thoughts

Warning! Fast and racing thoughts ahead. I can not be held responsible for incoherent thoughts and writings...I repeat, thoughts are moving too rapidly to possible amount to anything....carry on...

My shower was extra long today, I couldn't stop my brain, my mind was racing on all the *new* things I want to try for myself, so much I couldn't focus on one single thought. Wow, so that's what my son's ADHD is like. Maybe mom has more in common with him...

It's been over 24 hours since I last smoked. I enjoy smoking. It's disgusting, repulsive, unhealthy, expensive and plain gross, but I liked it. The big test is if I can manage a day of work without needed to go buy a pack. Frustration=Donut smoking.

I suppose I decided to blog about me wanted to quit is so that I have it written down somewhere, almost as to say I'll be held to it. I'm such a quitter at everything, so any extra effort could help...

Rewards? Maybe I could reward my good behavior? Loose weight and quit smoking=new coach purse for mommy! That would be nice, I've been carrying the same one for a year.

I hate work. Work no good. It usually is the fuel for my anger I mentioned. Not fist flying anger, but the general over grouchiness, sarcastic, pent up frustration feeling. Among the few dull minds, my co-workers are really bright and intelligent people, but some are just dumb. Mostly lack of common sense, which way do I switch the light switch kinda of dumb. Really... I don't want to work anymore. It sucks. Why was I such in a hurry to grow up in high school? I completely ignored everything in my peer group and aged about 10 years. Being a grown up sucks...

Today's mental (now written)to-do list:
1.Reminder to self- you must call the doctor. It's not normal to have a 40 cycle that only last 2 days. I think it's effecting your well being, mentally and physically.

2. Call the nutritionist in town and check insurance coverage for it. Being chubby is ruining your mood way to much now....

3. Schedule tests that were ordered last month. A thyroid is kinda important too...

4. Tell hubby that you are extremely proud of him for getting his out of shape butt on the treadmill and running non the less. You are encouraging babe, keep it up you sexy thing you.


I apologize for note being able to write anything that makes sense this morning. It just might be one of those days.Lets see, a big gulp of coffee, new scrubs washed and donned, I think I might be ready for work.Not really, but I need to get paid.

Wow am I a nut.

5 comments:

Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats said...

I had Gestational Diabetes with 2 of my pregnancies and so with those, I had to see a nutritionist. It was so great to learn about my body and how I should feed it. If you go, you will love it!

More than a single mom said...

Look in the afternoon ---- I shall have a similar blog about smoking. Those disgusting little things....that we love so much!!!

Lost A Sock said...

Good luck with the smoking thing. My husband has been smoke free for four years now. You can do it!

Hole said...

wow! I love your random miscellaneous thoughts! I just got your link from partaking in happy hour or as I like to call her "juice". Your sense of humor and sarcasm is great, just the kind of blog I like to read! I don't blog anymore, never really got around to having time, but this blog rocks! And I just love anger management! lmao!

Teena said...

Congrats on not smoking! Keep it up ... you can do it and you'll feel soooo much better!