Monday, May 05, 2008

Time, time, I need time.

Got time?
I need extra time. No matter how condensed I make things or multi-task, I never have enough time to complete everything that needs my attention. Really. I need to get my hands on that good stuff, time. I'm not sure I can multi-task anymore than I already do.

In a 20 minute time period in the morning I check emails, reply, start laundry, restart the dryer(because it never dries on the first cycle alone), shower, start coffee, get clothes and finally brush my teeth. Yes in 20 minutes. My entire day feels that jammed pack and it makes me so very tired and drained.

My question, what are your time savers? How do you save your sanity? How do you remain calm and not stress? How do YOU get everything done?

It feels like when I do manage to get everything done I'm exhausted and not worth my weight in gold ( yes I realize this is alot, but still,worthless). I know I can't be the only overwhelmed mom, but how do mom's do it all?

When I was growing up, my mother was super mom. A single parent with two jobs, two daughters, sterile living conditions and still managed to coach teams, cook and mow the lawn. What the heck am I doing wrong? How did she do it? How does everyone else do it?

So as I sit here, ready to attack another load of laundry and dinner dishes. I can't help but realize that my mother was made of tougher stuff and held together with stronger glue than I am. Because I feel like I'm about to break just at the thought of toothpaste getting on my clean bathroom sink and having to clean it all over again.

and if anyone lives with boys, you realize that if you clean the toilets, it's going to get urinated on in less than 2.23 seconds. Which did happen, so I have that going for me to...


Mel said...

If you find a place where you can find that time please pass it on cause I could use some more too!

Mary Beth said...

I think the trick is cleaning as you go, you can't let it getthe best of you...I have to clean the hubby's toothpaste yuckiness and put his dirty clothes in the laundry and put his toiletries back in the drawer and turn off his closet light and put away the dirty dishes every night before I go to bed because I can't stand the thought of it being there...ok maybe I'm crazy like our super human madre too! It's just easier to do it than to wait three days before he "gets it". Yep, I'm my mother!!!! xoxo

girlymama said...

along with being the queen of multi-tasking - do moms ever only do one thing at a time? - i do as much as possible the night before. coffee made, lunches packed, clothes laid out, house mostly picked up... everything possible has to be done! makes my mornings a bit smoother and i can get out of the house without looking too frazzled. i also do things like make lunches while i'm making dinner, that way i only have one mess to clean up. and clean the rest of the bathroom while the kids are soaking during bathtime.
but with a new baby in the house, all of my routines are shot right now and the bathrooms are totally gross. oh well. life is too short!

imadramamama said...

I have no secret. I don't get it all done. Some days I don't even try. but I think about it a lot. That's for sure.

Just out of curiosity, have you ever asked your mom if she ever felt the way you do now? You might be setting yourself up for disaster by putting unnecessary expectations on yourself.

Or something. That sounded way too much like therapy. I'm sorry.

Crooked Eyebrow said...

Great thoughts.
I never did ask my mother why.
I'm guessing it was OCD and boredom. or, it was passed down to her.

I am a true believer of setting everything up the night before. That's how my Sunday's are often spent.

milk&honey said...

My time saver: brushing my teeth in the shower. :)

You are a super mom too, by the way.

Teena said...

There's never enough time in the day, is there?!

If something doesn't get done, I don't stress about it. Erma Bombeck said the not doing the housework is okay ... and that makes me happy.

Crooked Eyebrow said...

Milk& Honey-
as long as I don't do that after I ate jell-o.

Teena- I am learning not to stress about it, but I can only take soo much.


amy f. said...

Hey there, I am de-lurking. Although actually I may have commented one other time. I can't keep track. I really don't have anything profound at all to say about this topic. Beth's post today is making me feel a little guilty (she has a way), hence my comment here.

First of all, our moms did not have the internet back then which truly sucks away SO much of our time. Does it not? I love it, but it's amazing how much time I spend in front of a computer.

I don't even work and my house is often a mess, it's sad I tell ya. Sure sounds to me like you have excellent time management skills if you can do ALL of that in 20 minutes, UNbelievable. And then working a full time job really changes the dynamic of's a hard balance.

Going to bed with a clean kitchen is a must for me. Just spending 15 minutes a day putting things back in their place is another must. That seems to be our biggest problem--not returning things to their home. I know a lot of people who like to get up extra early and tackle some things first thing in the quiet of the morn. I hate those people! I'm sorry, I'm not a early riser. I'm a night owl and I don't care to spend that time cleaning/picking up. I like my tv and computer too much. See, it's all about priorities and I seriously don't have mine straight.

Anyway, sorry for such a long comment. You're going to wish I never started commenting because I can go on forever about nothing!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Try living with double the amount of boys... and I might be adding another. Oh the pee.

I'd love some time, too, if you find it in bulk.


Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry said...

I'm with Amy F. your Mom did not have call waiting, internet, 3-way, satellite TV, cell phones, computers, iPhones or any of the modern day distractions we have now. And mostly -- they are distractions.

Something else to consider -- maybe you and your sister were better helpers around the house, may you picked up after yourself a little better than your cohabitants...just a thought.

Give yourself a break. A messy house is not what matters, enjoying life is what matters.

chrissy said...

I so agree with Beth, she nailed it! She said exactly what I was thinking!
Now in my true form, I am going to say to you, and I mean it, and I want you to take me serious, Stop being so hard on yourself, lighten up! I know you don't expect all this from others, why in the world would you expect it from you! chill out, before you know it, the house is clean in one hour, because you incorporate help. I miss the legos and the matchbox cars on the floor, I don't miss stepping on them, but miss the "play with me" comments I used to hear! They grow up fast, let the house go and be easier on CE, please! This isn't a contest, this is life!

Alysia said...

You can't do it all. It's not possible. Just love your kids. You can clean later.


iheartchocolate said...

My 2 year old beckons me to her room, "come on mommy-play in bedruum.." I have to stop whatever I am doing to take time out for them. It means more to us all than clean dishes. Or in my case, clean anything. With two toddlers, I don't even attempt to clean anything they have access to until they are in bed. Then they get up in the morning and make sure every single imprintable thing has handprints and everything gooey. I kind of just surrender to-this house is gonna suck for a while. Like 3 more years?

So- the lesson here today is to play, when you should be cleaning, and SURRENDER to the mess. It's a good excuse anyway.

stick shaker said...

well, i'm not a mom. but i will say this. i feel overwhelmed all the time and feel i manage my time poorly. and i'm always a basketcase. i think about actually having any children and my brain practically explodes, so i admire you, even if you think you are not managing time efficiently, it sounds like you are doing a heck of a job to me! i know this was no help! but seriously, you rock! and all my other mom friends rock too! amazing people you all are!

Megan (FriedOkra) said...

I'm a SAHM and I don't get it all done, either. Your mom probably felt she wasn't doing SOMETHING important either. Mother's guilt is inevitable, and we can never do enough to satisfy ourselves. You are a GREAT mother/wife/friend/wife, I'm sure of it. One of my big time-savers is my slow-cooker. The other is my freezer. Make a big batch and freeze half for later. As for cleaning, just get some Clorox wipes and tidy up when you need to between deep cleanings. It's not perfect, but it'll do the trick and no one will die. In fact, try to measure your success some days just that way: "It wasn't perfect, but everyone will live to see another day tomorrow." Seriously. We're human.

Lynette said...

It's simple really, lots of caffeine and delegate, delegate, and then some more delegating. Make everyone consistently pitch in. That's what I am doing right. My boys are picking up messes while I watch and drink my coffee. It's such a wonderful thing.

That or hire a cleaning service to do it for you.

Tiffany said...

Child labor laws don't apply in our house, but two of mine are old enough for chores. Now if I could just get the dog to clean up it's own messes - we'd be golden! Sadly, even with the help, it doesn't all get done... I hate laundry, it is my nemesis. The thought of loading all of our dirties up and hauling them to the laundry mat has crossed my mind. Sick huh!?!

Mimi's Toes said...

I can't stress to you how important it is to play with, talk with, read to, cook with, listen to your what if the pledge and windex are sitting on your table for 3 weeks...You can never get back those years, believe you me, I have tried!
I grew up with my mom waking us up every Saturday morning telling us it is cleaning day. I always had the dirty job of bathrooms and then my sister would bribe me to clean our bedroom we shared. It carried over to when I had kids and I had to have a clean house. I say, don't sweat the small stuff. It will get done in time...who cares if there's toothpaste on the mirrors or little hand prints on the walls. Sometimes I wish I had those little hand prints to look at again. Ok, I must stop cause I might have to get the tissue box. You can make chore time a fun time and working together getting done faster makes more time for play time.

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

I have no wise words for you. I'm at home all day and my house is always a mess. I try to blame in on having to hold the baby all (because he really does want me to so I can't get anything done)but it was always messy before he was born:)

I think if my family helped me, it would be much better, but apparently they don't care about tripping over things.

Ann(ie) said...

I just embrace the chaos. When I was home on maternity leave it drove me nutty and I was OCD from hell. Now that I'm back at work I don't have as many control issues. And I have a cleaning lady that comes in once a month. TOTALLY WORTH IT and a treat all working mom's should do for themselves. It's $80 a month and SO VERY worth it!!!

Shelli said...

Buy yourself an iPhone. You can check email and junk on the go!

Mostly my husband does the housework. I figure the huge responsibility of watching out after two kids is my contribution. He never complains about the housework, he can't gripe, the amount of time he and my son spend at the fire dept. would be grounds for divorce, housework is better than child support, he he, ha ha!

SJ said...

Nope, no extra time here. I mean I sure as heck can't find any for myself....

WHY is it always the way?

SJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stacie said...

ah well.

Maybe your mom just appeared to have it all together and she would run to her friends and cry "GIIIIVVVVEEE"

I guess, I do what I can and really try to not stress about the rest.