Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Oh, I faked it....



I find it very hard to do things "for myself". Just Saturday I went for a manicure and pedicure and I apologized to the nail guy the entire time. Yes! I did. Why? I felt bad that I have rough heels, hairy toes (I admit it) and ingrown nails. It felt that my time in the chair was taking so long that I began to feel guilty. Yes. I did. (I’m not joking) I had to convince myself the entire time that I was worth it. (Yes I know I work, do the mom and wife thing and that I'm worth it but at that moment, I didn't feel it) Silently I sat there thinking I was gone too long, laundry had to be done, yard work was waiting…something was to be done besides my nails. Damn, I felt guilty.

So, I faked my time while I was there. Like faking the big “o”. I faked my manicure. There. Take that, Crooked faked it. It was only afterwards while driving home I thought, “Heck I did enjoy that. I feel great” Sad that after the time was up in the butt massaging chair that I realized my hour of pampering was worth it. I was worth it.

Same thing happens when I want to buy myself something. (I think we all do this) Without fail, I go to buy something and talk myself out of buying it. Whether it’s makeup, coach purses or even a latte, I steer myself away. Why?

Being nice to your self shouldn’t be that hard I realize, but it was. Never in a million years did I think I would feel guilty for doing things to make me feel good or happy. Is it a mommy thing? Do other moms feel guilty for going to get their nails or hair done? Damn is this what my mom meant by being an adult??

Next time, I’m not faking it…I’m gonna go “pick color” and enjoy my painted nails and butt massage for an hour or two.

14 comments:

Megan (FriedOkra) said...

Oh, I've completely stopped with manicures and pedicures because I just can't handle the guilt anymore. For me I guess it's most the time - who do I think I am, sitting there doing nothing while someone tends to my nails? But any other woman I think fully deserves the pampering and should have it done. It is only I who am wasting time and being spoiled if I do it. Weird.

Mimi's Toes said...

We are so much alike...are we sure I didn't birth you? You deserve to pamper yourself. I want to see those perty toes girl...get that camera out and snap it. We want to see Crooked Eyebrows toes!

Mel @ A Box of Chocolates said...

On some level I understand what you are saying, but I confess that I love my pedicures and completely enjoy them when I get them, which is about every other week. It is so easy to give our attention to everybody else, but if we don't care of ourselves who will? Sometimes you just gotta look out for number 1!

Erin said...

I am definitely the same way. The worst is when I get a gift certificate for a massage (because I'd never think I deserve it without one!), and then spend the entire time thinking, This is nice, but I should be doing this.... or, I don't really deserve this, and then after, I realize that I've wasted the entire hour of pampering because I just cannot shut down my brain. I wish I had a solution, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!

Erin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

I'm definitely the same way!! I feel so guilty spending money on myself!! I do appreciate it and enjoy it when I'm out...but there is always that spot in the back of my mind wondering if hubby's handling things alright, or if I should be gone 'too long'.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Girl, I totally know what you're saying. But I have to also say- you are SO worth it.

Someday you don't want to look back on all those fakes and have regrets. Go for it. Tomorrow might not even come. Live now for YOU - not your family first, but YOU. Then you'll be able be even better at being a mom and housewife and all that fluff. You know- the whole put your oxygen mask on first before helping the person next to you type of thing? Yeah- like that.

xoxo
Steph

Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats said...

I feel this way every time I get my hair done (cuz it always takes like 3 hours). Every Time.

Sarah said...

It's not just a mommy thing. I feel guilty ever spending money on myself...For Anything.
My husband gave me a new rule though. If it's under $50 and makes me happy I should just get it.

Stacie said...

lol...yes, I know I feel guilty about a lot of things...surely NOT a pedicure though, I love those.

For instance, this Sat is my birthday, what I REALLY want is a couple hours to myself...alone...and I am dieing inside feeling guilty about NOT wanting those couple of hours to be spent with my kids and hubby. Shouldn't I want to spend my special day WITH them? Do they mean less to me BECAUSE I want time alone???

*sigh* we all deserve some ME time, and I will take it, even if I feel guilty because AFTERWARDS, I am a better mommy, (sometimes) wife and person.

:)

iheartchocolate said...

What a good point. Seriously. My hair's getting pretty bad..my highlights have grown out about 4-5 inches, the ends are split, it's been a while since it was touched. I whined to my husband today, I really need a haircut. He said, "If YOU can justify spending that money on your hair, then do it..." Of course, I *couldn't* because I guess I don't think I am worth 25 bucks for the cut?? So, I did it myself. I was worth the 25 bucks, notsomuch anymore. I got a little scissor-happy and well, I have to have it fixed I think. Maybe that was my plan all along, subconciously of course.

mj tam aka sugarmama said...

lol...funny post! Which reminds me, I need some majoring mani/pedi.

chrissy said...

Got a mani/pedi on Monday. I didn't feel guilty! It has taken a long time to get to this point, and a long time to realize the kids like to be with their daddy without me there, I am not "the keeper of everything" It can be handled well in my absence!

my wonderful men... said...

I put everyone before myself, I wish I could even fake it but I can't. I need to have my feet done so bad it's scary.

I don't know how some people just do it. I really wish I could and I can tell you till I'm blue you should go for it, just like you would probably tell me the same.

What's wrong with us? We need to go to one of those week long spa places and get over it.