Monday, February 02, 2009

life happens

Last week I had a fabulous week. Amazing things happened and I was on top of the world loving every minute of it. I was strapped in for the long haul, prepared for all the great and amazing things to start.


What?

After 7 years or so of trying to have another child I found I was pregnant.


Yes me, crooked eyebrow, the infertile one. I was pregnant. For so many years I wished and prayed for this moment. Every birthday wish, you name it, every thing I did I wished for this moment.

and now? Gone.

I'm not sure what happened, some may say it just wasn't meant to be and I do believe that.So for years I wanted to share my moment, the moment where I would find out that all my wishing and praying came true. My moment was awesome. It was full of tears of joy, laughter and nothing but awesome plans for the future .But life happens...

57 comments:

Brooke said...

Hugs from a lurker.

Christy M. said...

Oh, CE. I'm so sorry. I know how much you wanted this and how on top of the world you were. I'm so sorry you lost your pregnancy. Be easy on yourself.

I love you so much.

Stacie said...

i have no words, thinking about you!

Postives - at least you KNOW you CAN get pregnant...

It might not help, I am sorry, HUGS

*Lissa* said...

Oh no. I am so, so sorry... I know how excited you were. I'm here for you.

Love you! ((Hugs))

Erin said...

My heart has been falling for you all day, because it's just really fucking unfair. There's no other way to say it than that, and I just feel so helpless being unable to fix it for you. I love you. And I am 100% free this weekend if you want to do anything, okay? That said, I completely understand if you don't, but if you do... let me know, and I am up for anything--even just sitting around, doing your makeup, and cursing what a bitch life can be.

Lost A Sock said...

Oh, CE, I am so, so sorry. I've got no words other than that. I'm so sorry.

Lynette3boys said...

Oh dear thing - I am so so so sorry to hear this. I am keeping you in my prayers. I wish I could do more for you, but this is all I got.

Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry said...

I'm so sorry. My heart breaks for you, D. I know nothing but time will help your heart, I hope time moves swiftly.

LOVE.

Mimi's Toes said...

My heart aches for you CE. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I am sending prayers of comfort and strength to you. Love, Mimi

Celi said...

Hugs to you. I'm sorry for your loss.

Kim said...

Oh I am so terribly sorry. How heartbreaking. I am just so sorry my friend.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

You are on my mind. You are in my heart.

xoxo
Steph

imadramamama said...

Oh crap, D. I'm so sorry.

Sheryl said...

I am crying for you right now. So sorry girl. So sorry.

Alaina said...

So so sorry.

Mommy Mo said...

I feel like such a cow. I am only now reading this and I AM SO SORRY. No words, only hugs from afar. So so so sad for you.

iheartchocolate said...

So painful. I am so sorry. I have been here before. It's confusing and it hurts so much. I am sorry CE.

Life With All Boys said...

I am SO sorry. I had no idea. Thinking of you!

xoxox
Robin

Sarah said...

I have no words that will comfort...nothing to give but my hugs and thoughts.

Jen said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, CE :(

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

So sorry to hear about this. Hugs

Tara @ Deal Seeking Mom said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Sarah said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. There is a bright side...If it happened once, it can happen again. Now you know you can get pregnant! I'll keep you in my prayers.

To Think is to Create said...

Thinking of you non-stop...

xoxo

Anonymous said...

I know it hurts honey and it's just not fair. But you have all these amazing caring friends and us here for you even if it's just to tell you we love you more than anything. Just remember that. My heart hurts for you so much. I know what this meant to you but it will happen just keep praying and wishing and we will be doing the same. I love you hermana...

mb
xoxo

Midwest Mommy said...

I am so sorry. I have no other words to say that will comfort you. Praying...

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

That totally sucks. I am so sorry for you :(

Lisa in Dallas (twitter)

Ann(ie) said...

oh sweetheart. I am so very sorry. I wish I lived closer so I could come over with a cheesecake and a hug. Thinking of you from across the miles. :(

Bacardi Mama said...

I'm so sorry. You'll be in my prayers.

ValleyGirl said...

I'm so sorry.

Bobbi said...

I'm so, so sorry and I am thinking about you and praying for you.

Musings of a Housewife said...

((hug)) I'm so sorry.

Tina said...

I am so, so sorry - saying a prayer for you.

Vickie said...

I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts.

Take care.

4 Little Men and Girly Twins said...

I found your blog from Steph's... I am so sorry. It's hard to understand why things like this happen sometimes. You will be in our prayers.

britt

chrissy said...

I am so sorry CE. I know how badly you wanted this. Please don't give up hope. I am sending comfort, prayers and love your way.
Love ya.

nicole said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

Casual Friday Everyday said...

I'm so deeply sorry for your pain and loss.

Nell

Annie Anderson said...

I'm so sorry. I know it's been said many times already but I just don't know what else to say. Will be thinking of you.

~ Annie

Allie said...

I am truly sorry to hear of your devastating loss. Words will never be enough to comfort your broken heart and soul.

If you ever want someone to talk to, I am here ......

livinginagirlsworld said...

My heart goes out to you and your breaking heart. I'm so sorry.

Carrington said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. It doesn't quite seem that there are any words that make this time for you easier. I know how badly you wanted this. I will pray that you you let yourself grieve, and then hopefully soon, you will let yourself hope again. We love you so much.

Carrington

Miche said...

You are in our prayers; I am so very sad for the loss of your child. Take the time you need to feel however you need to feel. We love you.

Megan (FriedOkra) said...

OH. I am so so so incredibly sorry. So sorry. And sad. And mad.

DALewis said...

Oh sweetie. I am so sorry. Words cannot even express how difficult this is for you. (I know. I've been there.) Here's a big hug from a fellow sister over at SJ.

Jessi said...

Oh, CE...I'm so very sorry...there is very little I can say to make your hurt go away, just know that you are in my prayers.

((HUGS))

Haley said...

So sorry to hear this! You will be my thoughts this week.

Bloggy Mama said...

I feel your pain. Praying for you in your loss,

Fuzzy said...

Oh, I am so sorry! I know those feelings, and I will pray that time moves quickly.

aprilshowrs78 said...

No words can express how sorry I am. Know that you are in my thoughts!!

ninibeans said...

I am so so sorry. Life just isn't fair sometimes. My best friend and I found out within days of each other that we too were expecting. She was hesitant to tell but I couldn't resist. I thought for sure I'd jynx myself once I started spreading the news, but it wasn't me ...it was her. The day after I opened my mouth she lost her baby, her dream, her future. I feel such saddness for the dreams that were lost and guilty at the same time that mine is still growing (happy yet tainted).

You are in my thoughts and prayers, I'm just so sorry:(

MoziEsmé said...

i'm so sorry...

Krissy said...

I had a miscarriage when I was 17 and it was absolutely terrible. I feel the pain and confusion. Even though we never know why, things happen for a reason. *hugs* If you need anyone, I know you don't know me, but I have been through it before. Now I have two beautiful girls...

FC said...

((HUGS) I'm so sorry...

~ FC

lissa said...

I just like to say how sorry I am and wish things could have been different

I hope your are doing well...

Amy said...

I am praying for you and thinking of you. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I am sending lots of hugs and prayers today!

Mel @ A Box of Chocolates said...

Oh girl I am so, so sorry! I haven't been around to read everybody's blogs and just read this today. I am praying that the tears have slowed somewhat and the healing process is beginning. I have been where you are and know how bad it sucks. You are right though that somethings just weren't meant to be and there is a reason, we just can't see it. Sending hugs your way!!