I've been in a race for months, both physical and emotional, but now I can see the finish line. It's no longer way off in the distance as it once was. The end is so very close, may be even too close. These past 9 months have been leading me here and I have so badly wanted to cross that line.
Now parts of me want to back step and just give it a bit more time. I want to wave to everyone at the finish line and tell them to hold on for a few more weeks. There is a whole lot of unknown up ahead and it's a bit scary. Having an infant again, working, marriage, it all seems a bit overwhelming right now. Honestly, I am worried about post-partum depression. After years of that going undiagnosed, I never want to go back on that path.
It just seems like it's getting so very real right now and that I honestly couldn't feel it earlier.
Although I want to put things on hold, I am so very excited to hold my daughter. I want to see her beautiful eyes, nose and take in every part of her. Just the thought of watching daddy CE and JC holding her makes my heart flutter.
We've been a family of 3 for almost 9 years now and I still can't believe we'll be 4 soon. Like in a week soon. So many changes, such little time.
So each day I'm getting closer to that finish line, whether I'm ready or not. Here is to hoping that everything else falls into a healthy and happy place.