Wednesday, February 03, 2010

positive

Quite honestly, I have been trying to find the positives in things lately. At work and at home. Then,while I was driving into work today a Chicago Radio Station Morning Crew were all talking about positive reinforcement and praise. Who doesn't love getting praise, right?

Of course the topic of children were the spotlight for a few segments and the one thing that spoke to me was that we now reward our children for every little thing that they do, that they are developing an inflated sense of entitlement. A few years ago I would have not agreed. I would have said, "No, these kids need it." Not anymore...

and by reward I mean tangible gifts, I am ALL for verbal praise!

Well after doing this exact thing and seeing more kids JC's age, *some* children will not do anything with out getting a reward. Like chores, for example. In my house growing up you had to do them and not for an allowance. Getting good grades? Some kids expect high priced ticketed items for doing a mediocre job. The list goes on and on. It seems as if some will only do things for something in return.


Are we guilty at the Crooked house? Yup.

We are and now we are struggling with getting things done with out getting something in return.
It' s my hope that my child will learn that hard work has to be done and to not always expect some big payoff or reward when the job is done. I hope that his father and I continue to teach him that he has to work hard for his own sense of satisfaction and because it is what he has to do. Hopefully then he will appreciate the little things in return one day.

Until then, let the praising continue. You know what? It doesn't stop at just giving positive praise with children. What about your spouse, co- workers or strangers. Well, I suppose it could go further and more along the lines of giving someone a compliment. Spreading positive thoughts, praise and compliments can be a challenge when things in life get busy, right?

So, my personal challenge for the day, (join along if you so wish) is to stop, think and slow down. Slow down and notice the people in your life. Pay a compliment to someone. Anyone. The clerk who checked you at the grocery store, your child, your husband. Anyone, heck more if you want!

*Dear readers of mine, Don't you look lovely today? Yes. You do. I love you and want to thank you for always taking the time out to visit me. Although I may not respond like I would like, it means a lot that you take time out of your life to share sweet thoughts with me.

Thank you

and I love that shirt color on you....


See? easy.peasy

Another is to BETH for giving me such an awesome blog-redesign. WOOT! Who doesn't love new digs? I wanted something warm with a romatic flare. I love it and I love her. Beth you are awesome. Thank you

19 comments:

*Lissa* said...

I think you are an extraordinary woman. xoxo

Love the new digs! That Beth is super-talented.

Brooke said...

how sweet of you...a girl needs to hear she looks nice after posting a scary-worn-out-makeupless picture of herself.

Katie at A List Maker's Life said...

I really enjoyed reading your thoughtful post today. It looks so wonderful over here at CE! I love Beth's work. She's been designing like crazy for you ladies, and here I thought she was taking a break from Ruby & Roja!

Kirsten said...

Praise is a reward, but a good one. So, I love the new digs. I love how strong of woman you are...even if you sometimes don't feel like it.

And I agree with Brooke. I'm sitting here in my PJs (that I went to the store in) without showering. So telling me I look good? Awesome.

Haley said...

The new blog design is stunning! Also, I struggle with my parenting as well. I give in and give Jackson what he wants the first time he starts whining.

Your post makes me want to try for better though...so thanks for the inspiration. :-)

Corinne said...

Love love love the new look :)

Julie said...

first time on your blog! sometimes finding the positive is hard, but once you do, it can change your entire frame of mind!

Anonymous said...

Hello? How amazing is my sister? Deep thoughts by CE...I want more! You are an amazing woman and an awesome mommy...I have so much to learn from you! Love the new look (kudos Beth!). Just saw all the pics too...I'm speechless...thank you so much. You're the bestest sister ever!

mb
xoxo

Bacardi Mama said...

Love the new look. You are so right about kids today. Being in the teaching profession, I see it all the time. Three and four year olds who are bribed with Wii games if they come to school. Give me a break. Three year olds shouldn't even know what a Wii is, let alone have it be that much of their lives.

Bari said...

Love the new blog design-very pretty! I also feel that verbal praise is priceless, but tangible rewards can be much more costly that the money you shelled out for them. I work in education and see kids who aren't even remotely self-motivated. It is very sad.

Kim said...

I love you. That's all.

Elaine A. said...

Your place looks gorgeous - LOVE the new look!

And YOU look fabulous tonight! ;)

Lisa L said...

to me its all about verbal praise. i try to do it as much as i can. vis a vis grades? we had a very simple reward thing with grades...a C was 1 dollar, a B was 3 dollars, and an A was 5 bucks. Not terribly over the top...but just enough for the kids to be thrilled with the $$$. most important to me is verbal praise.

Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

Love the new look!

imadramamama said...

You are such a wonderful person, man.

Mimi's Toes said...

Love your new look. And thank you for the compliment on my new top I am wearing today. It is a beautiful plum color and you are the first to pay me a compliment.

chrissy said...

Amazing post! cute new blog! Beth does do good work!
I have seen the end result of too much giving of "stuff" for praise! It is a sense of entitlement and not a sense of working hard for and receiving it! Lots and lots of kids are missing out on the "work hard" and get your praise from finding the prize or failing and learning what you did wrong! I am so OK with going back too, not every kid makes the team and not every kid is cut out for the same stuff! I pray that this sense of entitlement be damned and a sense of positive, stick-to-it-ness be the new leader in the sense of "I can do this" mentallity!

Charlotte said...

This is my first time visiting your blog--nice job on the design! I couldn't agree with you more. We were taught never to expect things growing up and I don't imagine I'll teach my children any differently. I'd like to think I turned out just fine without cash/wii incentives.

Thanks for a great blog :)

Adventures In Babywearing said...

You are always so complimentary to me, I need to be more so to others.

And, at Blissdom we heard a motivational speaker named Kevin Carrol. LOOK HIM UP. Oh what a story. I do think praise is awesome but also, hard work amidst adversity builds character and strength. Figuring out how to balance that as a parent is fascinating. And hard.

Steph