Wednesday, January 18, 2012

will power

The gym.
I went and I felt silly and chubby. I felt like a poser amongst fit people.

My things went into a locker, my shoes were tied and my ancient ipod was charged. I was ready to go? Walking in after many years away is hard, but I forced my self in there.

I found a elliptical, in the back, away from people. I got myself up, put my tunes on and well, could not figure out how to turn the damn thing on. I froze with embarrassment. See? I am a poser and a bad one too.

After futzing with the machine and the "quick start" button, I had to ask for help. It takes a lot for me to ask for help. A lot. Honestly, deep down I wanted to get off and go hide somewhere and play "words with friends" while Mr. J was in the child area. Staying put, I asked the next person who came up to another machine. A guy. A really good looking one too. Dammit.

Quietly I ask him "can you please tell me how these things work?" . He laughed (looking cute) and said "will power, you just start pedaling". I wanted to die. DUH. So i start pedaling after selecting a program and then he leans over and shows me that I didn't even have the thing on and counting. (i wanted to die).

Fifteen minutes into it, I wanted to give up. I was out of breath, sweaty and sore. If that doesn't say out of shape, I don't know what does. Will power.... that word kept replaying in my head, over and over. It worked. Not only did I finish, but I went on to try and run. Ha. That is going to take a lot more will power and prayer.

Right now? I am digging deep and finding the will power to go back today and hopefully soon, not feel like a workout poser.

12 comments:

Julie said...

OK- I have BEEN THERE. I'm still chubby and I have no idea what 1/2 the things in the gym do, but I'm there enough now that I'm not embarrassed to ask. Don't let it get you down! Keep going!!! I also like the line, "This one is different than the ones at my last gym, can you make sure I'm using it properly?" That was my face-saver when I was confused. :-)

Anonymous said...

you are so cute when you interact with technology.

Anonymous said...

or, rather, fail to interact with technology. wubba.

Erin said...

I'm proud of you. I had to ask a coworker how to work the treadmill in our exercise room, because I'm such an outdoor runner. I know her well, but I was embarrassed to have to ask, so I would've been dying at the gym too.
It's a huge step. I'm impressed.

Mommy Mo said...

Maybe the cute guy will be there again. I'm all for a little eye candy motivation : ). There's this one guy at my gym who is a firefighter and just looks so friendly (and cute)- hubba hubba!!!!!

Anyhoo- will power is a great word, I think I'm going to use it too.

So proud of you!

Leona Raisin said...

Exercise. Wouldn't that be a great play in Words With Friends. As a sometimes gym visitor myself, Words With Friends seems a more appropriate time-waster than, say, television. Bottom line, my butt just gets bigger. I will always justify my TV time as long as I can tie it back to wordplay. Blame my love of Scrabble, WWF and TV trivia for spawning my blog and the word game that resides therein. Still, all these distractions keep me away from the treadmill.
Leona

*Lissa* said...

It will get better from here. Congrats on getting that first time over with! xo!

Mimi's Toes said...

I am very proud of you for taking the steps to get there. Hooray for you!

keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia said...

the first few times are the hardest - you are awesome!! keep it up, sweet pea :)

Anonymous said...

Yay! So proud of you!! I'm a gymaphobe so I totally understand. That's why I hide in the basement to work out or only run on my own country road. I hate people watching me! But you did it and kicked ass while you were at it! Now... just keep swimming, just keep swimming...xoxo mb

Elaine A. said...

Hey, you did the hardest part already! You GOT STARTED!!! Keep it up girl, you're no poser! xoxo

Amy Mueller said...

Yeah...I just read this, a month after you posted it. I'm always behind, especially with having will power to exercise. I keep saying every single day, that I'm going to "start exercising". Maybe this will be the week? Hope you're doing good. :)