I went and I felt silly and chubby. I felt like a poser amongst fit people.
My things went into a locker, my shoes were tied and my ancient ipod was charged. I was ready to go? Walking in after many years away is hard, but I forced my self in there.
I found a elliptical, in the back, away from people. I got myself up, put my tunes on and well, could not figure out how to turn the damn thing on. I froze with embarrassment. See? I am a poser and a bad one too.
After futzing with the machine and the "quick start" button, I had to ask for help. It takes a lot for me to ask for help. A lot. Honestly, deep down I wanted to get off and go hide somewhere and play "words with friends" while Mr. J was in the child area. Staying put, I asked the next person who came up to another machine. A guy. A really good looking one too. Dammit.
Quietly I ask him "can you please tell me how these things work?" . He laughed (looking cute) and said "will power, you just start pedaling". I wanted to die. DUH. So i start pedaling after selecting a program and then he leans over and shows me that I didn't even have the thing on and counting. (i wanted to die).
Fifteen minutes into it, I wanted to give up. I was out of breath, sweaty and sore. If that doesn't say out of shape, I don't know what does. Will power.... that word kept replaying in my head, over and over. It worked. Not only did I finish, but I went on to try and run. Ha. That is going to take a lot more will power and prayer.
Right now? I am digging deep and finding the will power to go back today and hopefully soon, not feel like a workout poser.